A fresh start...

July, the next half of the year has begun. I am two months away from turning 30 and maybe some hormonal changes are making me rather emotional.

I had spent the last two over years trying to figure out my love relationship. I have been finding excuses to love then to not love and then struggle to strike a balance with what I really want from it all.

I think I am beginning to understand the fact that being alone is better than being in the wrong relationship. I guess wrong relationships are part of the whole experience, but it literally and emotionally aged me. I am getting so tired of myself being scared of having nothing to look forward to at the end of the day and going through the insomnia phase again.

I think I need a fresh start; I need to know my focus, what specific qualities I want to find from a man I wish to spend the rest of my life with… that’s if this person is ever going to appear in my life. I had put myself down so low this past two years, I am immune to my own excuses and I wonder how many repeated mistakes it cost to finally get out of it all. 

focus focus focus... ....