B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y

its jus a day a human is out to breathe in the real ugly cunning world.. wats there to celebrate?!! erm... n also its a day people said to repay your parents with a treat to thank them for bringing you into the world, is that rite?!.... hmmm... not sure.

every year, i simply feel weird to celebrate what b-day... i always wish to hide away... be alone n not celebrate... i dunno y... its like a phobia... crazy me! this year, i tried to celebrate... but i was kind of sad after the so called b-day of mine... a total long story.

Well, on the 23rd of sep.. as usual.. i had to work.. n suddenly, someone came into the shop to deliver flowers! first look at them, i thought to myself..:who knows i like lilies n stil send them to my workplace?' .. puzzled! so that fat acmat asked me to open up the card.. he was more excited than me... erm... haha... Shockingly when i open up the card... there was a few paragraph of words... w/o reading.. i went straight to the sender... it was from my 2 very sweet friends currently in sydney..!! i was so so happy that i kept smiling... they actually went to the extent to send me flowers to my workplace when they r so far away.. i find that its very thoughtful of them... sweet la!!!!! heehee.... that really made my day...

At the end of the day.. i did not go out to celebrate.. i went home.. super tired.. worn out! Had a hard time reaching home... n had dinner at home, luckily there is someone to cook pasta for me.. if not i would have eaten maggie mee. Before the strike of 12.. i was already asleep... wat a way to count down..wahaha...

24th sep.. the b day-day... woke up... slack around... had lunch then dinner then went to zouk... but somethin sad happened. i went with 2 group of friends.. my best best friends.. n my poly mates... basically... i felt totally weird.. awkward.. i didnt know who to talk to... cos i felt out of place... so i keep going in n out of the dance area... so that i wont feel stuck. Worse of all .. my hand phone die on me when i reach zouk.. had to exchange handphone with my friend.. end up i dunno all the people that msg me.. end up asking everyone who msged..:who r u? ... sighzz

then.. something bad happened that very nite.... i actually hurt my best friend w/o realizing.. i really dun wish for that ... i would rather avoid such things... hai... a long story ... but anyways... its over..

N best part of this yr b day.. i dun even have a cake.. i never cut any cake.. blow any candles.. inside.. i m unhappy... for i love to eat cakes... i really like the idea of not celebrating.. but i need to cut cake... make a wish n blow out the candles... that didnt happen this year... *sigh sigh sigh........ cant anyone tell i m a cake lover aft all these yrs................... So, offically.. i m not 20 yet............. is tt gd or bad?!?!?!.............................

Rainy-Gloomy-Moody-

A wet wet Tuesday..Pretty drama rite from the morning's woke up, just in time to bathe n tag along with joy to go out. Once out of the carpark, i realized i left my fone at home..(w/o my fone,my whole day would be pretty dull for i have nothin to do)...but she was in a rush..so i never went back for my fone n just left. She dropped me off at great world city, it was only 11:20am..so early,Therefore i went shopping. Shop n shop.. spent 130 bucks..within 15 mins,haiz! Then i felt i needed my fone, therefore i took a cab back home at 11:45am..thinking i can use the same cab to work(no time le). Who knows, i realized the sales girl keyed something wrong, therefore instead of heading to work place, i went back great world..then, i realized i need to help joy drop her cheque.. all in all took me some time to settle all these, so i had to take a cab to work cos i m late plus its drizzling out there**lazy me!

Start work, pretty lazy n gloomy.. n next thing i looked across country road.. its pouring so heavily out there.. the skies were all dark grey.. so depressing la! Plus this week has been a real quiet week., no customers to help pass time.. therefore, i felt more moody.. i had nothing to do... i have to think so hard wat i can do to pass time. This is very bad..Nothin to do.. cant slack,relax nor sleep.. only to sit there n rot.. how stupid can tt be!All i could do was eat n eat.. shop around..sms crappy stuffs to pull thru the rest of the day.. oh m i glad the day had passed. Really not looking forward to tomorrow.. Big Sigh!

RAiny cold weather:It would be perfect to be able to be in bed ..snuggling with that someone n then sleep thru the day.. wow!~! nice.......... i miss him

i2u

Happy..sha la la.. everybody should be happy

#General: It has been an lazy monday.. with nothin much to do at work Xcept munching away n slacking. I dislike this lifestyle.. crappy.. all i do is complain about being bored bored bored.. my brains arent functioning well.. they are turning rusty!!

**Bad news of the day: Unhappy day, i did somethin i so so so shouldnt have done.. i quarreled with someone i shouldn't have.. causing bad moodzz the whole day..everything back to square 1.... totally screwed!

+Idea: People look at relationships as the longer u r together=the happier u r. is that right? erm.. i disagree.. I think the months or years being together doesnt account for anything.. quantity doesnt mean there is quality in it..What is important is that you are happy being with the person, spending quality leisure time together.. So, be happy.. try to make the best out of time spend together.. dont over do somethings over planned..causing nothing but quarrels during meetings.. tt will jus be another sad case if such events happen.....

'Staying Happy' should be the priority in life.. hope everyones' life can be a little happier by taking it easy .. relax sua.................breathe in..breathe out

Lonely..Lonely..Lonely..

Are u lonesome tonite? Yes!! very...exteremely...

Haiz.. its tough w/o that special someone being there to help you pull thru the emptiness felt inside.
The emptiness is making me feel very depress.. causing me to have sleepless nitez full of nite-maresssss....

Where is he when i need him?does he even know i m shouting out for him constantly from the inside?it is real hard to control the inner emotions.
Everyone can hide their inner selfs and pretend to be happy n crazy on the outside.. but who are those so-called friends that truly know that you are actually depress more than anythin else?! out of ten, i doubt at most 1 truly understands you.. in fact, maybe the answer is a big '0' ..!!!!!a total sad case...

Soul mates.. people often claim they have one.. is there really someone tt truly knows you so well to be your soulmate? wow.. i truly envy those people who have found theirs.. i would want one too.. but my soul mate would be none other than myself.. how nice!!..pathetic! my vocab is way too limited..damn!!

i m lonely..lonely..lonely..lonely. as usual.. does anyone care?!.. heck..............

EXHAUSTED

HmmMmmmmMmMm, how many days have i been working continuously??.... 15 days already!!!!!

i m really tired..worn out. The daily routine is making me sick... wake up, work, wait for end of work, go home, be tired n try to sleep.. next thing is wake up time n everything starts all over again..in a crappy cycle. haizzzzzzzz......... life is so monotonous.

brain isn't even functioning properly...

Nuts about N.U.T.S...

## Suddenly cheesecakes are not tepmting anymore... instead ...all i think about now are nutty nut stuffs... like pecan pie, walnut loafs, almond tarts..etc.. all the nuts!!

...........N not forgetting my very lastest craving .. CARROT CAKE!!! Not the pan fried type but the dessert type. tts heavenly... but not every where serves nice carrot cake.. not tt i tried many many places carrot cake, but the best so far is the one at Dan Ryans!! The carrot cake there is made of pure carrots.. with walnuts and raisins.... n of cos lots of brown sugar n cream. Just ignore the fattening facts... just indulge in that huge piece of cake..yummy yum yum........ simply irresistable. heehee....

@s for the Nutty Food -->i feel that pecan pie at the N.Y.D.C is really nice.. served warm.. not too sweet n sticky.. nice!!
-->The walnut loaf n the almond loaf found only at raffles city CEDELE is also very very good.. plain bread that has strong cinnamon taste topped with sticky sweet walnut / almond nuts... every bite is simply full of nuts... nice nice!! a must try**

*Next on the list ...Waffles.... since A n W... there isnt somewhere tt serves really nice warm waffle anymore.. until there is Gelare, cafe cartel and the Big O.. these few places serve tasty waffles. The soft warm waffles with all the fruit toppings and tempting maple syrup... wow... plus sharing with that special someone .... the heart feels totally coated with honey sugar!! heehee....

All day i think about Food...food.. n more food?????!!

Cravings n Temptations

Seriously, i have no will power.. at least not towards food!! my god.. i have been sick for 1 week now.. n seriously i m not getting any any better!! in fact, the flu n sore throat just cause me to have more n more sleepless nights.. damn! I know i cannot drink stuff like milo/ chocolate, cannot eat chips n fried food...but my cravings for junk food just cannot stop. Every morning i wake up feeling terrible.. but when i m at work, i cant resist the temptations of chocolaty stuffs.. cannot stop munching crackers sweets.. etc. At nite, i take mid night snacks.. all the peanuts n chips cause my thriat to be super sore in the morning.. almost lost my voice...

To make matters worse, there is mooncakes and lovely muffins together with nice sponge cakes from the Conrad hotel for sale, just outside my working place.. oh no no no no... tempting me everyday... ! Plus my shop gets free mooncakes, i simply eat them almost everyday... so heaty but yet thanks to my cravings.. not able to resist temptations....i end up still in this sick condition... bad bad girl me.... hai.... zzz

Sick.. inside out.. does anyone care?!?!

I have fallen ill. The usual sore itchy throat .. the usual migraines.. the usual bloated stomach.. the usual body aches n the very very frequent heart ache all going on at the same time.. therefore i must say.. i m sick inside out..!!!

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I wish i have someone to take care of me ...

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Seeing couples on the streets.. i cannot help it at times but to stare at them.... not tt i m jealous of them.. but i envy those that are so lovey dovey.. so sweet!! ENVIOUS!! Its really nice when there is a someone in ur life.. Sharing n caring for u.. being there for u.. n allowing you into his/ her life totally..

Thinking about it.. being single n avaliable individual.. without any admirers/crushes/flings..etc... life can be pretty un-interesting.. picturing myself last on the phone with someone... just chit chatting ..talking about anything n everything .. tt seemed like ages ago. Wow, i feel i have lost touch with people. tts not good.......

Seriously, now.. i just wish someone is taking care of me.. hugging me to bed or just chat with me till i fall asleep.. concerning about my illness.. being so nice n sweet......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......i miss that. No one.. really no one cares now...

???????????????????wat the heck..sick then sick lo.... who will bother about jj??!! totally ' ... '